Don't be a Decel, accelerate your wardrobe. Black, tiled in gold, for e/acc daddies aiming high. It's a joke, but maybe not, if enough of you accelerate together.
It says "Blockchain Challenge".
You've never recovered.
It has a VC logo on it. Which VC? Doesn't matter. Nobody can tell them apart.
Not really, you haven't left the house in three days. But don't panic, this robe is also, technically, a towel.
We ran the evals, and the evals were naps.
Reproduced across three seeds and one Sunday.
The error bars are also gold.
Wearers report a sudden, unexplained ability to take meetings horizontally.
Front, back and both sleeves. Visible from low Earth orbit (unverified).
Holds your head up when your startup can't.
The only hard constraint you'll ever accept.
No warehouse, no overstock, no decels in the supply chain.
“I'd wear this even at a party, if someone invited me, but I like it more when I'm alone in front of my computer.”
“Put it on at 3 a.m. Shipped a dyson sphere before breakfast. Concerningly good. Might wear one on the moon.”
“The board fired me for wearing it. Five days later they begged me to come back. We're all wearing one now.”
“I have worn a leather jacket since the day I was born. Might finally switch to something more comfortable.”
“To me it still feels like Day 1. What's my secret, you ask? Easy: I haven't taken this robe off since then.”
“It's the only piece of clothing that won't pass our safety evals, but it still makes me want to wear it all the time.”
All testimonials are parody. None of these people have seen this robe. Probably.
Free. Non-binding. Like a term sheet, but honest.
That's the whole business plan.
Then we wear them for "quality assurance". For weeks.
The list goes first, at the founding price. Everyone else gets FOMO.
Expected price. Less than your monthly API bill. Probably.
No spam, just one email when the drop opens.
We keep your email and size only for that. Want them deleted? DM @fedeandri on X.
Yes. Also no. If enough people sign up, it might become real, which is also how startups work, right?
Nah, this is just the result of spending way too many hours scrolling X for bangers. We're not affiliated with or endorsed by anyone in the e/acc movement.
Who knows! The render was made by an AI that has never touched fabric. The final pattern will probably be printed: still gold, just less sparkly.
Sure, call it "founder wellness infrastructure". This is not tax advice.
No, but it runs just as warm.
The US first. The whole universe when we hit escape velocity.
Put your email in and you'll be first in line, at the founding price, when the robe drops (if it ever drops).
Make me an e/acc daddy